While there’s no shortage of “to-do’s” when you’re in a bad relationship or failed marriage, there’s similarly no commonly held belief about the path forward when that failed marriage or relationship involves a narcissist. That’s because being in a relationship with a narcissist comes with a rollercoaster of emotions — not the least of which are hurt feelings, frustration, disbelief, and even questioning your own sanity.
Unlike being married to a workaholic you can set your watch to, nothing the narcissist says or does is consistent. They are charming and caring one moment, spiteful and devaluing the next. They will express one thing, and then do another. When you confront the person with questions or observations about these discrepancies, they turn the tables on you, claiming you don’t know what you’re talking about. And at times, depending on any number of factors, we may actually believe them.
Recovering from a relationship with a narcissist
Recuperating from a narcissistic relationship is a complex process, usually taking much longer to resolve than ending what is commonly thought of as a “normal relationship.” After spending years walking on eggshells, it takes time for your system to recalibrate and normalize; to regain your emotional, spiritual, and bodily strength; and to rebuild your own self-worth and a healthy sense of who you are and what you’ve always been capable of.
That’s why I created the 1st Annual Retreat on Narcissistic Relationships (Feb. 7-9, 2020) — to support women on their path of understanding what they’ve experienced, how to truly let go and move beyond their anguish, and then ultimately rebuild their lives to become an even stronger and more resilient version of who they truly are.
Enrollment in the February retreatis limited to no more than 10 women, so if you’re interested, please visit MovingForwardRetreat.com or email meat Jan at JLJexecutiveCoach dot com soon for more information or to register.
If you are unsure whether you are in a relationship with a narcissistic, I encourage you to visit the Moving Forward Retreat website and download 10 Signs You’re Married to or Dating a Narcissist; it’s free, though email registration is required.
About the Author: Jan Moorad, a former Deloitte management consultant and Major League Baseball team partner, is a Newport Beach, Calif.-based executive coach who helps C-Suite executives and their spouses pursue and achieve personal and professional fulfillment.